There is usually a certain level of expectation when one reaches 25I honestly wish Life was simple, go to school, graduate from university, work and live happily ever after. Unfortunately for most of us, it doesn’t really work out like that because there are a series of misfortunes and the journey to success isn’t as smooth as you had imagined.
My name is Mpho, I’m 25 years old and I’m freaking out about my life. There is usually a certain level of expectation when one reaches 25, it’s a milestone for people just like reaching 30 or 40. I haven’t achieved everything I set out to when I was daydreaming and planning my life at 21. Sure, I live in a not-so-bad neighborhood, however, I stay with my two best friends (that I love) but that was not the plan, in fact, the plan was to own a cute two bedroom apartment with marble counters in the kitchen and a walk-in closet, that I would be paying my mortgage on.
There is usually a certain level of expectation when one reaches 25…
I learned very early in my life that there are no laws in dreaming big or wanting so much more out of life with that in mind I worked extremely hard to achieve the things that I have. However, I constantly feel stuck, in short: I’m experiencing a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I worry I haven’t accomplished “enough” at this age and now I can never go back and be the most amazing ballet dancer. (I never danced, but what if I had?).
From now on, I feel like nothing I ever do will be very remarkable. I know I’m petty but that’s how I feel. There’s also Love and the prospect of meeting a loving man that I thought I’d be building a future with. But that’s a conversation for another day.
And what about that question, “What do you want to do with your life?” When I was a 16 years old, the world seemed so huge, open and exciting. There were possibilities. And what about THAT question, “What do you want to do with your life?” Now, I mostly just feel like the question “what do you want to do with your life?” no longer applies to me; instead, it’s “what are you doing with YOUR life?” and somehow that seems so much more daunting because some days, what I’m doing with my life is just shop, go to Liquid Blue and watching “Being Bonang.”
But I will BREATHE. I refuse to give in just yet, I’m a 25-year-old educated YOUNG gay man in Johannesburg, surely that should count in my favour. I cannot let these fears swallow me whole, no matter how much they want to try to consume my brain. I will not feel bad about being 25 and being slightly confused. I will drill it into my head that my life is not over, that this isn’t the end, and that there’s no such thing as it ever being “too late” to do anything at all.
I will not and should never underestimate the power of my hard work, resilience, patience, and prayer. You can become and do anything you put your mind to if you’re willing to put in the hours.
From now on, when people ask me, “what are you doing with your life?” I want to reply, I’m living it!!!
This opinion is a reflection by Mpho Makhale on his 25th.
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